What is Real? (Ch 1 - Poor Pieces)

A long the way I walked through a dark passages, I hoped to find the way out to see the outside world. But what I found is nothing just dusk. Everyday I slept inside a well. Sometimes I saw humans were very barbaric, even more barbaric than gigantos.

Sleeping inside a well was not as bad as you think but it really needed courage. Lots of rats were around you, fighting rats were better than fighting humans. They didn’t understand about what I felt right then, they just cared about themselves. Selfishness, pride, hatred were everything for them.

Advantages leaving in a well were everything than you had ever imagine. You could see outside world without having trouble. Well to well be connected with pipes and from the well, a gift from the God that I could see what’s people doing in their real life.

When I saw them, I just didn’t understand of who I am and what I am. I wasn’t an animal, and I wasn’t a human either. Searching from well to well made me understand about life, but I was still looking for my true identity and how I became like this.

That night, for the first time in my life I saw something that was very big. Eruptions were everywhere and people were crying because they didn’t know what to do. What I found was really killing me softly. They prayed to the God, but the God wouldn’t listen to them. I smelled sins everywhere, only a little girl who hadn’t had any sins weren’t scared.

‘Mom, why everybody is scared? Is there something happened?’

She didn’t even see those lava. What she saw was only bunch of angels in red dresses. Was it real? Or Was I dreaming? I saw them died one by one. I wanted to help them, but I couldn’t move. I couldn’t even come out from the well.

Since I first came to this world, I realized that well was my life, and I would never came out from the well. There was something sealed my body inside the well. But why did He do that? God was so kind and forgiveness, I just didn’t understand. Maybe I would understand later when my time…

After the destruction, I saw no one, even that little girl. But the sky was full of lights. I could see the sun was rising so brightly that made me have to close my eyes a little bit. And suddenly I saw that little girl was crying for them. She walked near the well and looked at me, ‘Why? Why don’t you help them? How cruel you are! I hate you!’

She hit me with some rocks and cried again. ‘Little girl, I… I couldn’t go outside this well… I wanted to help them, but I have no such that powers!’ yelled me.

‘Yes you can if you want to! You just don’t have guts! Go away! Leave me alone! You think He showed you this just for fun! Just like you saw some movies! You are just pieces of others you know!’ Suddenly that little girl disappeared, then a bunch of lights were shooting at me.

I woke up and I was surprised. I saw no more bloods and red angels. People were still alive. It was looked like that I just had a very bad dream. But what did it means? If it wasn’t a dream, the He showed me for what? That girl, she was talking about guts and movies! I wish I knew what she meant by that.

‘You wish to go outside?’

‘W…who’s that? How could you come here inside the well?’ asked me confused.

‘God is destructive! He is cruel to keep you here! I can help you go outside if you want.’ A man in a black dress appeared just in front of my eyes. From what he was talking about, I knew that he wanted me to be in his side.

‘Evils are always talking in that way. God will know when my time is right to go outside. I believed in Him.’

That man was laughing at me, ‘Have you seen people? They will grow up and die! Maybe He will only just let you go out for a minute, then you DIE! Don’t you realize that you can die later? If you go out now, you can spend more of your life with those girls J’

He was right. But if I followed him, I could be a fellow of devils. Guts! That’s right! ‘Even if you speak like that, I still believe in Him. If He never wanted me to go outside, then be like that.’

After that, the devil was gone. He never bothered me again. I didn’t know why, I just knew that I did the right thing even though I was just a small piece of His creation. Maybe this was just my destiny to see what I needed to see.

What is Real? (Ch 2 - Radical Dreamers)

Since then, He started to trust on me. He gave me a new gift to read men minds. What He did it for? Did He do this just for fun? Or had it something to do for my next life? It wasn’t that I really care, I just wanted to find the truth of my path. Existed? You thought that the world was real! No one cared about that though.

Through the pipes I walked, well to well, nothing interesting, just everyday life. But that day, I saw what people called as romance. Romance was nothing more than roses and bugs.

There was a man who had no pride at all. A girl, Reene, was crying near him and what he did was just trying to help her. What happened then? From what I saw… He was full of kindness but also tricky. From his intelligence, he could play around with her. I thought that he realized that because he finally did that.

The girl was falling in love with him, but from what that man did, he had no intention on her. Was he really loved her? Don’t think so though! He didn’t do that for money, he didn’t do that for love too! So what’s his purpose?

Trying to read his mind is useless. He didn’t even know what he was doing. He just could cry, is it desperation? No, he wasn’t crying for that. He cried for a foolish thing. He was lonely and he needed someone who could understand him. If only I could help him.

While he was having fun with Reene, I saw something unusual. He was also with another girl, Sasie. Talking about Reene. Wasn’t it bad? Was it because he loved that Sasie and he was just trying to find a way to make her falling in love? But I didn’t see that or maybe he just closed his heart too deep that I couldn’t even read his mind. But if he did that for nothing, then he was just a big shit in this world and should be banished from this world. He was just playing with Reene.

That man didn’t even have courage to tell Sasie the truth about his feelings. Or wait… he had told her before and that should be different then. But how about that Sasie feelings? Why she still wanted to help him even though she knew that the man in front of him was a completely jerks. He didn’t have the right to accept her kindness!

I walked around for a while, leaving that man alone just for a few days, and what I found was Reene. I could see her spirit of life was emerged again. Then I thought again, was I wrong? Did the man do the right thing? Yeah, but why he told the story about Reene to Sasie then? It just didn’t make any sense?

While I was thinking, there was a girl emerged in front of me. It was the girl who was on my dream of destruction. ‘You wish to know? I can tell you even if you don’t wish to.’

‘I wish to know…’

‘Fine then. See him, that guy. He loved that Sasie, but he felt that he had a responsibility to help Reene. Then he didn’t want that Sasie had a bad impression of him, and he just tried to explain. That’s what I can help. Find the answer for yourself.’ Then that girl disappeared again.

So I was wrong then. He really closed his deep heart not to show off it. If only I could understand him a little bit more.

Time for Reene to say goodbye to her lovely guy. She had to go, but I could see that life had grown inside her. So it meant that the guy had finished his job for her.

No doubt I saw him broke up with her. But because of that, he also had trouble with Sasie. That guy was promised no to break Reene’s up because of the responsibility that guy had. I had never thought that Sasie would change so much that she couldn’t trust that guy anymore.

‘Love is sick of death, you see!’ another man in black dress appeared. ‘Don’t you wish to go outside to help him?’

My desired to help him was big, but I couldn’t because I still had to see what the God wanted from me. There should be a meaning why he showed me something like this.

‘Once I refused to go outside, I’ll keep refusing. There should be my time to go outside to this world. Even I died here, I won’t complain to Him. He had showed me everything about life in this world. I believed there should be something more that I can learn from this well.’

After that, the evil vanished.

I only could pray for that man. Someday maybe he will find a new piece of life. A dreams of radical life.

What is Real? (Ch 3 - Snow of Hatred Heart)

I took a break from that guy by walking through another pipe to pipe till I saw a big house. But was it true? A big house only with a boy? That boy was really something. I could see that he had everything, but what was missing from him? Family? Friends?

Trying to read people minds were not acceptable. But even so, I kept doing that. I saw hatred and revenge in his heart. I felt a great devil lived within his heart. How could that be?

That devil blocked my sense to read his true feelings. I thought I might be attracted to that boy because he himself could locked the devil inside his heart, just when he had friends coming. That was also the first time I could read his true feelings.

He needed friends and I could feel it. His heart was full of evil because he was so lonely. But his friends… Are they real? I could see that they just wanted something from him, wealth and fortune. That boy knew it, but why he was so happy? Was it because he was too lonely? God, why it could be happened to him? Wait a second, how about his family? What happened to them?

Even I tried to read his mind; I had never a change to read about his family. He had never wanted to think about it, so it would be very hard to find it.

‘Poor child isn’t it?’

‘You again, girly? How could you just show up and disappear?’ I’m just a bit confused of her. I sensed holy in her heart but why she followed me. Was it something to do with my job?

‘None of your business J. His family hated him so much that they exiled him to this place, but they still left him wealth though. His friends over there knew that and tried to take that chance.’

After that, she disappeared again. Since then, I believed that the girl was something for me. She might want to guide me to something that I would never understand.

Every time I looked him around, I always saw him full of hatred. Every day I saw that the evil grew in his life. It became stronger and stronger. I really wanted to help him, but with what? I didn’t have power to help him. So, what should I do then?

‘You wish to go outside then? J’ Once again another man in black dress appeared.

This time I felt that I really wanted to help that child. I had feelings too, so if I didn’t help that child, I would be a bad guy. But what should I do?

‘Mister, I have a question for you.’

‘What is it my boy. Ask me and the answer will be yours!’ Said that man.

‘If you said so. What is friend for you? Are you afraid of your own kinds? You afraid of the devil living inside that boy because he had more power than yours. Eliminating your own friends using me then? Hehehehe you can not trick me you know it.’

That man looked angry, and he shouted some bad words, ‘You think I’m afraid of him. He was nothing compare to my power.’

After he said that, I saw that he went outside the well and eliminated the evil hatred inside the boy.

‘Evil is always Evil. Eliminating friends is nothing for them. Don’t you learn something from here?’ asked a little girl who appeared once again.

‘Learn two things in a row. Friends and Family! Eliminating friends for its own good and finding real friends.’

‘You understand well. But you should go back to the man and that Sasie thing. I know that you would be surprised if you know about his feeling right now. However, man is still a man. You’ll understand that.’ Then guess, she vanished once again.

My choice not to go out side is still the best decision. Lots of things had been taught to me. May be one day I can really go outside and have the same experience as them. But feeling lonely, I was just like that boy.

I was lonely to inside the well, but then I had friends. My friends were these wells and pipes. I learnt that everything could be my friend, even things could. If only I could tell him about this, but I believed that someone would tell him later.

What is Real? (Ch 4 - Sadness of a Guilty Heart )

Back to the place of the man whom I adored. Surprising for me… Really bad of him! Who was he? Playing games with another girls? The one in front of my eyes was really unbelievable. Why he dared to did that again? What was his reason then? Was it the same reason? I did never thought that there was a man who dared to make the same mistakes twice.

Meanwhile he was with that girl, I saw Sasie was far away from him. I didn’t know why that Sasie still didn’t want to understand that man feeling. Was it hard to see the truth? Didn’t she want to know the real answer why that man had courage to break that girl? I didn’t understand them at all. What did they want?

Trying to understand that man whom I finally knew as Dante was really hard. He didn’t have that such big evil like the boy I saw before, but reading his heart was really complicated. He could bury his own feeling very deep.

‘Hehehehehe, it looks like you always have a hard time in reading people mind, don’t you? J’ Asked the girl who always followed me.

‘At least tell me your name please! So I can say goodbye when you’re leaving girly! Hehehehhee. It’s just if you don’t mind though!’

‘Claire, that’s my name. Do you ever learn about run away from your own feeling? Learn it now or it will be too late. He said that it’s almost the time to see the REAL world for you.’

I was really happy when I heard that, but I couldn’t feel happy, it was just not the right time because the man in front of me was unpredictable. In my mind I just felt that I had to follow him and to gave him a big support. At least I had to see him first for then, so I could help him.

Following Dante’s path was not as easy as I think. Hearing Claire’s words about run away, finally I got the clue about his life. It was really he, the man with that feeling. He thought that he might be able to forget about Sasie, but I was sure that he was absolutely wrong. I learnt that forget about something that you really liked were not as easy as forget about something that you didn’t really care. Poor you man, why you did that, forget something was not like that, but the best thing to forget something was only to use time.

By the time passed away, you might forget about that. Although it was very hard, but I believe that it could be done.

‘Every people can choose his or her own path. So why you have to bother about it so much. If you care about them, just go outside. You have that gift, and it would be useful to the world. Why you have to bother about Him who did never want you to go outside?’

Once again I saw a different evil bothering me. But now I think I already have the answer for him. ‘You are wrong if you ever think like that. He had showed me the way. He said that He would show me the real world soon!’

‘Real world heh? Hehehehehhehe! Don’t you realize what’s the meaning of real? Ask you guardian angel for the truth!’

Suddenly Claire appeared near me, and her face looked a bit angry to the devil. ‘What do you know about real world, Colsone! Just don’t bother him!’

‘Tell me, it’s not true Claire? What is the meaning of real world?’

For the first time in my life I felt that I was being threatened. I didn’t know why but I felt that my presence was just like a toy. I saw Claire’s face and I also saw Colsone’s face. Why was that? I felt about lying and evil. For the first time there’s no holy thing in Claire’s heart.

‘Claire, he can see if you lose your holiness in order to lie to him! Heheheh!’

‘Shut up you, Colsone!’

I ran away from them. I did never know about my presence in this world. I did never know about the real world. My heart was broken. I looked at the sky and I realized that my time was near.

I pray to the God. However I still believed in him. He might have chosen my path to be like this in order to learning about the world. Although I still didn’t know my presence, I still believed in him and whatever the way he chose for me, I believed that it would always be right.

ThE EnD

Time is everything… You will never know when the time has come to you. But what will you do if you know about it? Learn something is not that bad, but knowing something can tear your heart apart. Not to deep to know somebody is better than we are ever think. That’s what why we always afraid to find the truth and also afraid to tell the truth.