Devotion of Loneliness (Ch 1 - Poor Souls)

Pure souls, pure hearts, pure body! What people tried to find in this world was just not like that. What’s the different between illness and sickness? What’s the meaning of everything? If only people knew what they were really doing, then you’ll find the path to a new world, new destination with peaceful and loveliness. Learnt a lot of things in this world wasn’t that bad to think, but the result could be lost everything that you had already collected.

Part of the sky was part of us too. Leaving the body to find the purity of the soul was a not-easy thing to do. Guts, courage, and truth were needed. ‘Am I the Lost Soul?’ No one would say that unless they had something in their mind, but that’s truth for a while, just for a while.

One man, one soul. Poor of me, stuck in animal forms. God punished me for what I had done before. But being a cage bird wasn’t bad at all. You could see what people couldn’t see. Experience in life…

My life was stuck in a cage, but I learnt a lot there. I saw things about friendship and love. I learnt that friendship was hard and tough, not as easy as I think. And I also learnt that love is for a couple, cannot be just in one side.

It was just like today that I saw a miserable thing happened. My master was stuck in a fighting between Sean and Glenn. Stubborn head, just like fire and water, oil and water, black and white, this and that, etc. Since the first time they decided to become friends, I saw something bothering there. Something that was unusual inside their heart.

Although I wasn’t in a human form again, but I’d never lost my power to see the purity of the soul. It remained my past about my love soul. Why God punished me here… It was all about love. Using the gift from the God for myself was really a foolish thing.

Back to Sean, man of pride. Was it pride that was so high? Or was it arrogance that was so hell? Thinking that he was more than the others. No one would ever beat him. If he found somebody that had something more than him, he would do anything to destroy them. Why? I’d never seen such a foolish person like that. Most of the thing, he didn’t care about anyone and didn’t want to get any attention from others.

Different with Glenn, man of thoughtful. The way he thought and the way he acted was different from others. He cared a lot about Sean; you could say too much care. Why he wanted to do that? It was just because he wanted someone to care to him too. Was it worth? Trying to do something that you didn’t even know the result.

I was just wondering, if me, who had nothing to do with them, was cared a lot about the situation. Then, how about my master, who was their best friend? It was so complicated to me and of course to my master.

Seeing things like that made me sick. At night, I opened the cage using my teeth and finally I decided to run away. Flew through the darkness finding the way out, and listen to the sound of the wind. In my mind, I just thought that I had to find the truth meaning of my form. It was really hard to believe, but I had decided not to go more further with them. I want to help Sean and Glenn but what can I do? I was just a bird and a bird was just nothing in their eyes. I was really sad for my master who could not run away from them. If only I could have helped my master… But I had my own problems that I had to finish. I promised to myself that I would come back to them if I had finished my own problems.

I just don’t know when, I just know that I had to finish it fast or else I would never find the way out. That was why I had to do this. Seeing Glenn and Sean having such a big problems like that made me thinking about my own problems.

My purity of soul that I had thrown away long time ago was really made me sick. I didn’t even know what am I doing that time, I just knew that I had made my parents disappointed. Was it me who was wrong at that time? I really didn’t know about that… It might just because I was so stupid that I did such a foolish thing like that. What kind of a person I was? People could die because they want to die, but people could not choose when they would be dead!

Lots of things appeared in my mind, it was just like a brainstorming. Why something like this could be possibly happening. Was it because my soul was so full of cracks, or just because I was just such a suck personality?

Devotion of Loneliness (Ch 2 - Charity and Strength)

Other continent, I finally found some coffins there. I landed on one of the coffins and really unpredictable that the coffin, which I landed, was making a big sparkles of lights.

‘Tim, I’ve been waiting for you.’ A shadow of a woman emerged from the coffin. She pointed at me and changed my shape into a man again, a pure man.

‘Long time no see Tim. You’ve finally come back to get your own body right J?’ Asked the woman.

Tim walked approach her and hold the hand of that shadow woman. ‘It’s not like what you think, Sasie. I just need more time to think about our time. ‘ Just after Tim held his hand to Sasie, she made a form of a human being again too.

‘Yeah Tim, I know that. I see your life from the sky and I also see the feeling of your master. He’s so unbeatable, but have a broken soul.’

Tim saw deeply inside Sasie’s eyes, ‘Illness that only can be cured by love… I know his feeling. He didn’t find something to love but he needs that love. Because we know that love is patient, love is kind, and also everything.’

‘Hope all things can be cleared up my Dear, Tim. I can see that you already see why you are here for.’ After said that, Sasie’s gone and Tim changed back into a bird.

Bird in the cage, Freedom is hard to explain, hard to be done, and hard to understand. Why do people care? Why do people hate? Why do people have to believe in something?

Just like Tim, finding the truth about his existence. Wondering about the outside world. Finding the truth about him and about love. Why did his master like that? Hate everything in this world… Cannot understand about the truth of love and life.

Charity and Strength, those two should have planted in people hearts. Why do people thought nonsense?

I flew back home to my cage and then I saw difference in life. I didn’t even recognize him as my master. He’s so different, so lonely, and so sad. I looked around and I couldn’t found anything but him. I wanted to help him but he just seem didn’t care about anything else.

What happened to him? I didn’t even see Sean and Glenn anymore. They were gone into nowhere. My Master just sat in front of the computer and saw nothing. Many times he just said one word, ‘Leena’ and then he cried. Everyday he just cried and did nothing.

Inside his heart I could see that he loved that girl so much. First at all I thought that Love would never ends. However I was wrong. Love didn’t bear all things, didn’t believe all things, and didn’t endure all things. Love could be beatable. I loved Sasie and believed in everything that we were unseparatable, but seeing my master like that is ruined everything that I believed.

I was sick of this. Seeing the girl said that she hated my master so much, making my master really broken. He just liked a piece of junks and useless right now. I do want to cry but I couldn’t because my heart was burning.

‘God if you send me for him, what should I do? I’m useless in this form. I couldn’t help him.’

Suddenly my body was lightening up then I was thrown away into my master heart. Lots of junks there, but there were one thing I found it there. It was his soul that I should have taken it back into its proper place. I walked into it and looked into his soul.

Devotion of Loneliness (Ch 3 - Care to be Cared)

Finally I found my master in his memories, ‘I knew this time will come someday. I’m just too afraid to accept the truth. From the first time I was with her, it was just one side… just I alone. I don’t know why but I do love her very much. It seemed that she was so closed to me. How could I ignore that, she was so kind to me, she helped everything that I need.

However, since I was with her, I could see that she didn’t always happy. She just trapped inside me and couldn’t go away. Trying to escape but hard to say. I tried to understand her many times but it just a big fail. Once she was surprised because my roommate knew about us, then she wanted to broke up. Next because of our friends didn’t like us to be together, then she wanted to broke up again.

Lots of things happened from day to day… Computer laboratory accidents, Video games, staring at other people and everything. Everything that I had tried to make her happy is always failed. I tried everyday; I tried to change just to have her love. I do really love her; I don’t want to be separated by anything else. But what can I do…

For her, being alone is happier than being together. I just hoped that she wanted to be back with me. I just don’t know what she was thinking about me. She just hated me that much, so I should be like bugs around her and the one that should have been avoided a long time ago.’

When Tim saw his master memories, she was just nothing but surprised. His memory was different than before. Before was just about his friends but now his mind was full of love and broken. ‘His heart is so broken, how can I help him…’

The next minute Tim was awake in his cage again. He awake and saw just the same thing. Just a dead man living sat on a chair in front of a computer.

Not only life is imperfect, but also love is also imperfect… Devotion of loneliness, is it the best thing to live? Would it be possible for a man or a woman just to leave alone without anyone? However, that’s the only possibility in life.

If only I was being born again. I will have to care about this love and friendship. I have to learn a lot about this. The most important thing in the world is because of care. But care is hard because there is always a mistake. If there is already a mistake, something that is perfect will become imperfect.

‘What a life… Need some more time…’

‘So you have understand that Tim? Then shall you be born again…’ a sound from the skies appeared and I realized that my life is now being born again.

THE END

Who said that love is never ends?

Who said that love is patient?

Who said that love is kind?

Who said that love is everything?

Is it the devotion of loneliness?

Every time…

Everyday…

Till the end of the time…